I Am Forbidden to Have Daughters

I may have already mentioned it in another blog entry, but lately, I've been reading Colleen's blog quite regularly. In her latest entry she mentioned that she is now the assistant teacher at a preschool and she described her second day of school. Her description of preschool reminded my of my youth when my mom taught kindergarten and elementary school.

My mom was very involved with her students. Even after my mom retired from teaching she still have other people's little kids in our home all the time.

It was during this time, after she retired, in which, one day, out of the blue, my mom forbade me from having daughters. It caught me by surprise considering I was only a teenager.

No, it's not one of those Chinese things in which the potential grandparent desires a grandson. We are living in America where there is no "one child" restriction like they have in China.

As she explained it, "You are not capable of standing firm with the girls. You fold like a deck of cards whenever they ask you for permission to do something that violates the rules. If you have daughters, you will make your wife the bad guy and that's not right!"

As a teenager, I thought nothing of it. I wrote it off as my mom going on a rant because I didn't do something exactly as she wanted it done. (Frankly speaking, I think she has a mild case of OSC. In fact, I think I inherited some of her OSC traits.)

I mentioned my mom's edict to a couple of my women friends. Both said, "Yeah, I can see you making your wife the bad guy when it comes to dealing with the girls."

What? I'm not even married and they are already writing me off as a guy who would make my wife the bad guy. How fair is that!

I've always thought that I'm a fair even-handed guy. However, their response forced me to re-evaluate how I deal with kids of each gender.

Then, I had an epiphany. Whenever a child asks me for permission to do something, I usually give them a chance to plead their case.

With boys, I would rarely get a decent response from them.

I'd ask, "Why should I let you do that?"

How would they response? It's that familiar, "I don't know."

However, girls are a bit more articulate.

"It's after four. I'm not suppose to give you your cookie after four because it'll spoil your dinner."

"I was waiting for the bathroom when they passed out the cookies cause Susie was sick and I let her use the bathroom first."

Hey, that sounds to me like a good defense of her position.

"Okay, you can grab one cookie; eat it quickly."

I guess if I want to truly be even-handed, I really need to help the boys articulate their cases.

Then, again, I would make my wife the bad guy irregardless of our child's gender.

Hmmm... Maybe, I shouldn't have any children at all.